Miss Piggy: The Diva Code

I can’t hide my love for Miss Piggy from the Muppets (to me she resemble soooo much Barbra Straisand) and for her tender love to Kermit the Frog (just like Miss McBridge and Scrooge) so you could imagine my surprise while stumbling on DE51GN, where there’s a coverage for this piggly diva!

piggy

Miss Piggy provides her own introduction (for who else would be able to give her a proper fanfare?), followed by “A Note About the Typeface”. These are the only portions of the book written in conversational paragraphs, which makes them the most enjoyable parts of the book. Especially the typeface portion, because let’s face it, nobody cares about typeface, especially a Diva.

The next section delivers on Miss Piggy’s list of 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do. Aside from the overuse of striking through the word Men, this part was actually, dare I say, funny. It’s not hilarious, but I admit, I squeaked out a titter or two. Naturally, Piggy only makes it through 42 of her promise of 10,000 tips, which elicits a complaint from Kermit the Frog (who has apparently been transcribing this whole time), at which point the Frog quits and leaves Piggy to her own machinations. Unfortunately, when Kermit leaves, so does the quality.

The remainder of the book reads just like Pepe’s. Every page has between one and four one-liner jokes (leaving a lot of white space), and though some are clever, few of them are funny. The main difference between the two books is that Pepe’s book is all about how men can be deceiving, manipulative, and selfish in a relationship, while Piggy’s book is all about how women can be deceiving, manipulative, and selfish. The content gives me little faith that anyone, myself included, has any idea how to coexist with the opposite sex (whatever the species).


The most unfortunate part is that there is a perfectly good book “written” by Miss Piggy, all about life, love, celebrity, and dealing with your frog. The book is called Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life, written by National Lampoon founder Henry Beard. Guide to Life takes advantage of the brilliant mind of Beard, the inspiration of Frank Oz, and the amazing photography of John E. Barrett to create a genuinely funny, yet practical book that captures Piggy’s voice as well as your full attention. As much as it pains me to even hint at not supporting new Muppet merchandise, I suggest you search online for a used copy of Guide to Life and purchase it in lieu of The Diva Code.

– from Thought Pigs

Miss Piggy

What should a piglet like her say?
Here are some drops of swines:

What is the difference between love and lust?
About three expensive dinners.
And some oversized jewelry.

Flirting:
DO bat your eyelashes.
DON’T hit him with a bat.

Men & Women:
Men are from mars.
Women are from Godiva.

Diva Don’ts:
Never fly coach. Never fly commercial.
And most of all, never fly with Gonzo.

Dining out:
You are where you eat.

Fashion Credo:
If it’s expensive, it fits.

That’s the true essence of a maial diva, isn’t she cute?
So, The Diva Code: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do you’re gonna find published by Hyperion (ISBN 1401323162) hardcovered on Amazon, Barnes&Noble.

.. and, least, that’s said to be a hidden footage by the private pig collection, a moment of frog-down, something so bad Piggy can’t ever tell..

Kermit

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